Did you ever hear the one about the guy who fell out a window at TD Centre? Or what about the tale of whale bone under Queen's Quay? Toronto is a hot bed of urban myths, some that are amazingly true, some that contain a tenuous strand of truth, some that are creative but, sadly, utter nonsense (I mean, come on, underground aliens?)

Here's a quick run through five (plus one) of the city's best and most absurd tall tales, starting with one story that's been the preserve of drinkers in Toronto's oldest pub for decades.

THE BOOZE TUNNEL TO THE WHEAT SHEAF TAVERN

If there's a common thread that connects urban legends from across the planet, it's secret tunnels. Apart from the passage that supposedly connects the flatiron building on Wellington Street with the King Edward Hotel, which I dealt with here, the other famous Toronto subterranean passageway was supposedly built by thirsty soldiers between Fort York and the Wheat Sheaf Tavern at King and Bathurst.

For it to be true, the soldiers would have to have built a tunnel more than 500 metres long without attracting the attention of their superiors. Engineering challenges aside, soldiers at the fort were given a daily beer ration, so it's difficult to imagine the men finding the motivation for such a massive undertaking in libations alone.

That said, a tunnel was discovered at Fort York in Nov. 1904, but not in the direction of the Wheat Sheaf. The shaft, 5 by 2 feet wide and expertly constructed, extended for 15 feet beneath the fort and appeared to be pointed at the blockhouse. After being disturbed, the mysterious diggers failed to return while the site was under discreet observation. At the end of the tunnel was a candle, a blank piece of paper, two bottles, and a shovel inscribed with the initials M.C.M.

Theories abounded for the enterprising dig: a search for treasure left during the American occupation of the city, the tail end of an unfinished escape tunnel from Central Prison, an attempt to access the ammunition storehouse, or a place for "tough men" to hid liquor and carouse at night. None were ever proven and the tunnel was filled in.

THE UFO BASE AT GERRARD AND CHURCH

Spurious reports of weird magnetic disturbances under Gerrard and Church can only mean one thing - aliens, of course. The story generally goes that denizens of some off-world race are hiding beneath the city, presumably hatching nefarious plans, playing with magnets, or launching space ships through the waters of Lake Ontario. It's never explained why the aliens chose to live under a major metropolis and not somewhere more secluded.

As Torontoist writer Patrick Metzger points out, the intersection isn't particularly dangerous for motorists, as is generally supposed by base truthers. The entrance to the nether world is supposedly between two apartment buildings on Parliament Street via the sewer system (talk about inconvenient.) "The Indians near Toronto have legends of these tunnels," according to a writer who uses the pseudonym Commander X. Take that, evidence.

THE TD CENTRE WINDOW JUMPER

This is my all-time favourite Toronto urban myth because, astonishingly, it's true. At about 5:30 p.m. on July 9, 1993, Garry Hoy, a senior partner at law firm of Holden, Day, Wilson, was performing a bizarre act he had become famous for: running against the glass window of the company's 24th floor office to show off its tensile strength to visitors.

Unfortunately for Hoy, who specialized in security law and mining, the glass took his weight but the frame didn't. The pane popped out of its mounting, sending the hapless lawyer falling to his death in front of a group of horrified co-workers. It was his second attempt to show off the same window that day. "He was one of the brighter lights at the firm, just a super nice guy, a very generous fellow," said Michael Crawford from the company. The death was treated as "death by misadventure" by police.

THE GHOST OF OLD FINCH AVENUE

The Old Finch Avenue ghost stories are widespread as they are varied. The general thread that connects them is the story of a young girl haunting the area near where the road or rail tracks cross the Rouge River. Sometimes she's lurking in a nearby churchyard, sometimes she's haunting the parapet of the bridge; sometimes she has been murdered, sometimes she killed herself on her birthday.

A quick search of the Toronto Star and Globe and Mail archives didn't shed any light on the origins of the tale. There's no evidence anyone matching the girl's description died in the area under poetic circumstances, so draw your own conclusions.

WHALE BONES UNDER QUEEN'S QUAY

When the TTC was excavating the trench for the underground streetcar tunnel from Union Station to Queen's Quay, backhoe operator Jose Resendes found something weird. It was a section of whale vertebrae, lodged in the mass of dirt and waste the city south of Front Street is built on.

It was tempting to link the mysterious bone with Piper's Zoo (I know - I did it on this site) but it seems the truth is, sadly, less exciting. It's true, Harry Piper did keep a semi-frozen whale carcass at his strange zoo on the corner of Front and York streets, but it seems its bones weren't the ones dug up in 1987. Carbon dating and pollen analysis by ROM palaeontologist Kevin Seymour dated the bone, a piece of orca spine, to the 1840s, long before Piper set up shop. How it got there is still, happily, a mystery.

THE CHERRY BEACH EXPRESS

Having grown up outside of Toronto, the Cherry Beach Express is a tale I was told while putting this list together. It goes like this: Toronto cops, if they needed to do a little off-the-radar "persuasion," would take prisoners in cuffs to Cherry Beach and rough them up, using a phone book to dull the blows from their truncheons.

It's hard to reconcile Cherry Beach's reputation as Toronto's make out point with the idea of bloodthirsty cops meting out vigilante justice. Band Pukka Orchestra wrote a song commemorating the myth called Cherry Beach Express. "That's why I'm riding on the Cherry Beach Express / my ribs are broken/ and my face is in a mess / and I made all my statements under duress."

There may be some truth to the controversial rumour, however. Thomas Kerr, a homeless man, was awarded a settlement in 2003 after he claimed cops had beaten him at the Port Lands location in 1996. In 2007, Craig Bromell, the former head of the Toronto police union and one of the eight men accused of the beating, said the story was "just bullshit." He was exonerated.

Chris Bateman is a staff writer at blogTO. Follow him on Twitter at @chrisbateman.

Images: The City of Toronto, Hannah Jor/blogTO Flickr pool.

Fly Nightclub is set to shut down after one last hurrah for World Pride. The lease on the 15 year old establishment is up at the end of June, and as Extra! reports the landlord is looking for a major rent increase that owner Keir MacRae has balked at. Condo pressure is the ultimate culprit, with a new development slated to rise on the site near Yonge and Gloucester.

This has become something of a familiar story in the Village, as big retail and condo developments arrive in the area. A similar situation has jeopardized Zipperz, which is also slated for condo redevelopment. Nightlife in the Village won't be the same in the absence of both dance clubs, though it is possible that someone could still take on the Fly space. The timeline on construction of the condo is up in the air, and a licensed dance club north of Queen isn't exactly a common thing.

Each month we round up the most noteworthy live theatre playing in Toronto.

East End Performance Crawl / Various Venues / May 21-June 1 / $15-$40
Billed as a theatrical love letter to Toronto's east end, Crow's Theatre is set to unleash an innovative performance crawl throughout Leslieville and Riverdale. Curated by Mitchell Cushman, the festival features over 20 productions—solo, site-specific, and community building performances—staged at 14 neighborhood locations. Highlights include Mike Daisey's Dreaming of Rob Ford; Tease, a one-on-one encounter at infamous strip club Jilly's; Who's Your Daddy, directed by Aaron Willis; and the SOULO Theatre Festival of one-person shows.

The Road to Mecca / Soulpepper - Young Centre / May 5-28 / $23-$74
David Storch directs South African playwright Athol Fugard's humanist tale about the struggle of personal fortitude in the face of an intolerant society. The Road to Mecca profiles a character who, in critique of her conservative village, transforms her home into a unique and personal work of art. Best known for his 1982 play "Master Harold"...and the Boys and ensuing conflicts with the national government due to the nature of his writings, Fugard has become one of the country's most celebrated literary figures.

Vitals / 149 Roncesvalles Ave. / May 1-25 / $25-$30
Outside the March has presented dynamic site-specific work to much acclaim at various locations throughout the city. Vitals, their most recent production, is set to be the most alarming. Based on interviews conducted with Toronto EMS personnel, the play takes audiences on an emergency 9-1-1 call alongside a paramedic named Anna. Written by playwright-to-watch Rosamund Small, directed by Mitchell Cushman, and starring Katherine Cullen, Vitals first unfolds at the corner of Roncesvalles and Garden Aves.

A God in Need of Help / Tarragon Theatre / April 16-May 25 / $27-$53
Playwright Sean Dixon considers notions of faith at the dawn of the age of reason in his newest play A God in Need of Help. The historical drama takes place in 1606 at a time when four of Venice's strongest men have been tasked with transporting a priceless piece of art all the way across the Alps. When the journey is interrupted, their ensuing escape becomes wrapped up in the story of miracles. Richard Rose directs on an inventive set from Camellia Koo.

Bingo! / Factory Theatre / May 8-June 1 / $30-$45
Daniel MacIvor is one of our most cherished theatrical scribes. He set out to write Bingo! for his brother, who he endearingly describes at home in Sydney, Cape Breton. It's a nostalgic play about five friends who reunite on the occasion of their 30th high school reunion. A portrait of midlife reconciliation and regrets of the past, Bingo! examines bonds of deep friendship and past conflicts that creep to the surface.

The Lion King / Mirvish - Princess of Wales Theatre / April 30-June 15 / $35-$100+
One of the most spectacle-driven musicals ever produced, The Lion King first thrilled Toronto audiences in 2000 with its lifelike puppets and vibrant set pieces, the vision of director Julie Taymor. With the distinction of being the highest-grossing Broadway production of all time, there's no doubt that the musical, with its classic songs from Elton John and Tim Rice, is a surefire fan favourite. It arrives in Toronto for a six week engagement at the Princess of Wales Theatre.

What did I miss? Add your live theatre picks to the comments below.

Photo of The Road To Mecca via Soulpepper.

The flagship HMV location in Toronto is set to reinvent itself with the announcement that it will convert its basement space into a concert venue. As the company struggles to remain relevant in the post-CD age, the move makes a whole lot of sense. HMV needs to get people into the store and can tap into a fair bit of local history in opening a live venue on Yonge Street. Over and above the fact that Yonge and Gould was once a nexus of record shops (most notably the former home to Sam the Record Man's flagship location), the stretch of Yonge between Gerrard and Dundas was once a breeding ground for the city's rock and roll scene.

The space will accommodate 140 people and go by the name HMV Underground, which is kind of fitting in its '90s-ness. It was, after all, about 20 years ago when the store was at its peak of popularity. One doubts that a crossover plan like this will restore the location to its former heights, but it sure won't hurt. Hosting live shows is tried and tested way for bricks and mortar record shops to generate traffic and interest on the part of local music fans. In that sense, it's nothing new. But the size and sophistication of the venue is noteworthy. This isn't a little stage tucked into the corner as an afterthought.

The first show at the new venue will feature classical guitarist Michael Kolk on May 3, which will be followed by dates in affiliation with the Toronto Jazz Festival.

Photo by Felix Demacota

There's drama brewing in Leslieville over what some drivers claim is watered down gas being sold at the Neon Station. According to an investigative report from Global News, numerous customers have reported engine difficulty after filling up at Neon, which is located at Queen and Curzon streets. Sputtering engines and costly repair bills have raised the ire of the drivers who allege that Neon's fuel has damaged their vehicles.

Global makes a fairly compelling case that something's not right at the station, but a water detection test undertaken in the wake of customer complaints came up negative. The Technical Standards and Safety Authority did, however, order the the station replace part of its fuel system after the inspection. In the absence of concrete evidence of water in the tanks, it remains a he said-she said scenario, but caveat emptor.

Photo by Mark Susina

Two friends have opened a shared workshop at College and Dufferin, with the aim of giving woodworkers, ceramic artists, and do-it-yourselfers of all kinds an affordable place to realize their creativity. They give you the tools and the space - and, if you choose to drop in on one of their classes, even the skills needed to make your vision a reality.

Read my profile of The Shop in the design section.

Canadian Music Week 2014 runs in Toronto May 6-10. Here's a roundup of our must-see shows.

It's time to pull yourself out of mega-fest hibernation: CMW gets underway next Tuesday at over 60 venues across the city. This year, the fest has moved from its usual March slot over to May, where it will kick off Toronto's festival fever as over 1000 artists set up and tear down on Toronto stages. There's a whole lot going on, from music, to a conference, a film fest, comedy fest and even a few award shows.

You don't want to lose yourself in a desperate TTC struggle, frantically jetting around the city in hopes catching all your favourite bands (not to mention carrying the cash required to shell out cover each time). To avoid this, plan ahead by checking out all the CMW shows on their schedule page, as well as setting yourself up with a five-day wristband, which will let you into most shows hassle-free. Purchase yours here.

To help fans gain access to some of the larger shows (City and Colour, Neko Case, the 1975, Owen Pallett, Mastodon and the Canadian Radio Music Awards), CMW has introduced a concert lottery. Fans can RSVP for select shows through the daily social media announcements, and those who are quick on the draw will win guaranteed spots on the list. Lottery contenders must be wristband holders, which is another good reason to spend the $75 ahead of time.

The number of musical offerings at CMW is a little, um, unmanageable, even for the most proficient festival-goer. To help you out, we've broken it down to our top 25 picks that will make for a happy CMW. We've included links to each band's CMW page, where you'll find info on set times, whether a set is all ages or 19+, and how your wristband can help you out. Leave your suggestions for other not-to-miss shows in the comments below.

HOT TICKETS

M.I.A. / May 3 / Tattoo
Contrary to her name, M.I.A. has been quite visible lately. She released her new album Matangi not too long ago, and now she's jet-setting around, playing tour dates like it's going out of style. This free performance falls a little before the festival officially kicks off. Initially scheduled as a huge, mind blowing free show at Yonge & Dundas Square, the move to the (admittedly revamped, but insanely smaller) Tattoo on Queen has dampened enthusiasm for this year's fest. Still, it's M.I.A.

Tegan and Sara&Ellie Goulding / May 9 / Kool Haus
Well done, CMW - you've brought in the big guns for Fanfest 2014. Still smelling of Winnipeg and champagne, Tegan and Sara will be headlining fresh off their three Juno wins. There's even another heartthrob in the mix: British mega-star, Ellie Goulding will take the stage beforehand. Did you nab tickets early? Beause otherwise, tough luck - they're sold out now, but you could try out the CMW lottery mentioned above.

Owen Pallett and Doldrums / May 10 / Danforth Music Hall
Owen Pallett is one of the several impressive names CMW scored this year. Plus we have Doldrums going up first as the perfect opener to set the best mood. This is going to be good.

ODESZA / May 9 / Tattoo
Music festivals can get you in a bit of a haze, running around the streets of Toronto, drinking the night away, while trying to make sense of some scribbled schedule you thought you'd stick to. Forget everything else, and run on over to Tattoo where you can trip out in all the good vibes of a packed Odesza show.

Neko Case / May 9 / Massey Hall
Neko Case basket cases shrilled with joy when CMW announced that the folky songstress would be making a festival appearance. She'll be filling Massey Hall with her beautiful sounds at 9:15pm. Go hang on her every poetic word.

The 1975 / May 6 / Kool Haus
These British boys will be kicking off the first day of the fest with their super catchy indie pop-rock. This show was in such high demand that it got moved from Danforth Music Hall over to Kool Haus, but don't worry - if you got tickets for the original venue, they will still be honoured. The audience will be a sea of leather jackets, so it's gonna be a sweaty one.

City and Colour / May 9 / Air Canada Centre
This man has a whole hell of a lot of admirers. I get it, tattoos and sensitive songwriting have a tendency to get some people really hot and bothered. I mean, you could just lurk around in North Toronto and eventually see him - but I suppose tickets to the ACC show will have to suffice. To sweeten the pot, Half Moon Run will be opening.

Television / May 10 / The Phoenix
For the uninitiated: Television essentially invented tight-pantsed New York indie-rock at the dawn of the CBGB era. They directly influenced every band you liked in the early 2000s, and are responsible for creating the only guitar riff I could happily listen to for 10 minutes straight. This will be a hot ticket, but if you can, go, and witness the masters at work.

The Indie Music Awards / May 10 / Kool Haus
Lot's of bands will be hanging around this awards show, which has lined up performances by The Strumbellas, Ponctuation, The Hidden Cameras, Hollerado, Born Ruffians, Mounties, and Little Dragon. This is a cool way to see a lot of bands all in one night, but just so you know, most of these sets only last about two songs. Then they get back to rambling presenters handing out Indie awards to artists with equally as rambly acceptance speeches. Formal attire not necessary.

ADDITIONAL PICKS

TUESDAY MAY 6

The Reason and The Dirty Nil / May 6 / Tattoo
The Reason as in the rock band from Hamilton, not the Hoobastank song. I discovered them back when I was one of those "punx not dead" teenagers, and would catch their shows in any surrounding city that I could get my parents to drive me to. They've matured their original sound into an alt-rock feel now, but their shows are still as much fun as they used to be. Joining them will be openers The Dirty Nil, bringing their patterned button-ups and scream-in-your face goodness.

Come As You Are / May 6 / The Great Hall
This show is a little different: It's a night of Nirvana songs performed by Chris Murphy of Sloan, Hidden Cameras, DIANA, JULY TALK, By Divine Right, Vag Halen, Biblical, YOUNG RIVAL, Wildlife, Luke Lalonde of Born Ruffians, Light Fires, Lisa Bozikovic, and more. This show is in partnership with In Bloom, and will honour the legacy of Kurt Cobain while raising awareness for youth mental health.

Justin Nozuka / May 6 / Mod Club
Tuesday will be swoon-sday thanks to the acoustic summery jams of Justin Nozuka. Hear his angelic voice at 8pm and your heart will be set aflutter.

WEDNESDAY MAY 7

Brody Dalle / May 7 / Horseshoe
Alert the masses! Brody Dalle, the former Distillers frontwoman, and queen of punk-rockdom as us '80s/'90s babies know it, is bringing her solo project to CMW! Brody and her side-mouthed growl will be at The Horseshoe, and you mustn't miss out on the potential crowd-surfing deja vu. I doubt she'll take requests, but if you scream City of Angels or Drain the Blood enough times, who knows what will happen?

BROODS / May 7 / The Drake Underground
This New Zealand brother-sister duo have made themselves one of the fastest rising new acts to emerge in the last year. With shows already planned across the globe, as well as the release of a debut album expected in late 2014, Broods are only just getting started.

THURSDAY MAY 8

The Airplane Boys / May 8 / Tattoo
Scarborough duo APB (Airplane Boys) are playing one of CMW's most-hyped shows: HUSTLEGRL's Thursday hip hop showcase featuring Naturally Born Strangers, Tre Mission, ABO, and A-Game. These guys are breaking out in a big way and with the kind of talent they've tapped into, they deserve it. Rap fans should not miss this line up.

Diana / May 8, 9 / Drake Underground
The two days of DIGG DEEP/GET HIGH are going to be some of the coolest shit happening this year. We all know DIANA by now. Did you also know they just released a video for Strange Attraction? The band will change it up with, quote "a night of softer ambient music and then a night of pretty bangin dance music."

Maylee Todd / May 8 / Horseshoe
Of course. Toronto talent Maylee Todd will play her disco-fied pop jams at The Horseshoe at 9pm. Wear your best outfit and get groovy.

Matt Pond PA / May 8 / Mod Club
Matt Pond PA is in the middle of a big tour celebrating the 10th anniversary of his album Emblems. He says that he's never played the full albums' worth of songs in front of a live human audience before, so this should make for an interesting show. He'll be touching down on the Mod Club stage for the Thursday of CMW. Large-scale clap alongs to be expected.

FRIDAY MAY 9

Comeback Kid / May 9 / Mod Club
This is the right show if you wanna let go of a workweek of tension by thrashing around. These guys recently put out a new video along with a whole new album, so you'll be hearing some new material.

The Slackers / May 9 / Lee's Palace
The Slackers have spreading their "Jamaican rock 'n' roll" around the world for over two decades now. Jamaican me want to dance. Bring your ska-enthusiast friends, stretch it out, and then join in the circle skank. It will be a fun one.

Papermaps / May 9 / Rancho Relaxo
NXNE's loss is Canadian Music Week's gain, as Papermaps frontman Dean Marino recently detailed the kerfuffle that came from ending up on the wrong side of NXNE's radius clause. Come see Marino and Co.'s moody guitar jams and make sure that pain won't be in vain. South of Bloor and Brothers of North will warm things up with melodious arena-rock sets; bring fists for raising.

SATURDAY MAY 10

ShaqIsDope / May 10 / Baltic Avenue
This 21 year old rapper hailing from downtown Toronto's St James Town Community has been stirring up a bit of buzz after the release of his 11-track mixtape "Early Beginnings: The Shaquille Baptiste Story". Having both Latin and West Indian descent he represents a mutlicultural element characteristic of Toronto's populace. He'll be sharing the stage at Baltic Avenue with Halifax's Quake Matthews, Toronto's King Reign, among others.

Wildlife / May 10 / Adelaide Music Hall
This group truly has an interesting thing going on. They are loud but poppy and lend a great deal of focus to melodies that allow for the raw, emotional content of their music to shine. They'll be performing at what might be one of CMW's most exciting showcases, hosted by Osheaga and Life or Death PR, featuring We Are Wolves, Nothing, Groenland and two late night special guest DJ performances that are sure to turn heads when they're announced. You might want to get to Adelaide Hall early for this one.

BASECAMP / May 10 / The Garrison
2014 has been a great year so far for this Nashville based trio that effortlessly blends synthy electronic production with ethereal vocals layered into an arrangement that can be appreciated by a pop audience. Their debut "Emmanuel" was well received online and they've gone on to support acts like CHVRCHES. They'll be touching The Garrison's stage on May 10 at 12:30am for a showcase that is being curated by Hilly Dilly, a taste-making blog with a growing reputation for discovering unknown talent online. Catch them at Lee's on May 8 as well.

OFF! / May 10 / Lee's Palace
Come prepared for a lot of loudness and a lot of being pushed around. OFF! just released a new album a few weeks ago, giving us a good chance to have the whole thing memorized by the time they hit stage for CWM's closing night.

Writing by Julia Stead, with contributions by Markit and Natalia Manzocco.

Photo of Maylee Todd by Alejandro Santiago, MIA by Matthew McAndrew, Airplane Boys via Facebook

NXNE have released a slick new video along with their third line up announcement, where punks grab a slice at Odonis Odonis, Mac DeMarco owns his own cab company, and sad Toronto music fans pick up a copy of LOW Magazine every Thursday. The Pizza Underground will never be a band I'll care about, but I would hit up the restaurant. As you get hyped up for this year's fest, look out for Perpect Pussy's pet shop (aw) and a big money take-over that just might save Honest Ed's from the chopping block (if only).

FYI to NXNE - the song in the video would have been better if it was by Toronto's Mas Aya. Just a friendly note for next year.

Lineup additions from today include Pusha T, Jacques Greene, Future Islands, Joel Plaskett Emergency, Autre Ne Veut (be still my heart), Xiu Xiu, Evian Christ, HSY, and Army Girls. NXNE also announced a new viewing space at Yonge-Dundas Square for wristband and badge holders; Sleigh Bells, St. Vincent, Spoon, and Juicy J are among artists performing at Y&DS, which should ease the pain of at least some of Toronto's M.I.A. fans.

NXNE 2014 runs from June 13-2 in Toronto.

The W Hotel brand might be on the way to Toronto. Long the source of speculation amongst the city's urban development nerds, the rumour mill has cranked up after Curbed got their hands on images that appear to indicate that Freed Developments has plans to bring the hotel to the Entertainment District. We previously heard that an existing Yorkville hotel was possible site for a Toronto W, though we haven't been able to confirm the location with any certainty.

Three years ago, there was also lots of talk about the hotel coming to Toronto. Back then the location was thought to be Temperance and Sheppard streets as part of a 54-storey development designed by Page + Steele / IBI Group Architects, but the project ultimately never came to be. That could, of course, also be the case this time, but you can bet the chatter is going to increase with the apparent affiliation with Freed.

The best margaritas in Toronto have improved dramatically with the addition of a number of excellent tequileiras to the city over the last couple of years. Since the opening of Lower Ossington mainstay Reposado, newer spots such as El Catrin, Fonda Lola and El Caballito have lent some serious clout to the equation.

But what makes a good margarita? None of the offerings listed here will resemble the frozen slushie of bar mix and El Cheapo that you might see on vacation. In fact, it seems that most bars have embraced the use of premium blue agave tequila, with Toronto's Tromba featuring heavily on lists around the city.

Here are the best margaritas in Toronto.

See also:

The top 5 tequila bars and restaurants in Toronto
The Best Cocktails in Toronto
The Best Mexican Restaurants in Toronto

Photo by Michael Mitchener in the blogTO Flickr pool.

Rob Ford spent part of last weekend "ranting and swearing" in an Etobicoke bar, according to the Toronto Sun, which obtained a choppy and at times difficult to decipher audio recording of parts of the evening. According to the paper, Ford was taped at Sullie Gorman's, a grimy bar in a strip plaza on Royal York Rd. almost directly across the street from a park that bears the name of Ford's father, Doug Sr.

It's worth nothing that it's also the same shopping centre where the Globe and Mail alleged Doug Ford ran his hash empire in the 1980s.

Ford appears to be (relatively) coherent in parts of the tape and almost nonsensical in others. At first, he discusses the Pride flag controversy at City Hall, saying Tim Hudak disagreed with his call for it to be removed. Later, Ford says he's conflicted about how he will vote in a provincial election, brags he would like to "fucking jam" Karen Stintz, then appears to force people to take shots of liquor with him. At one point he appears to call someone a "wop."

What follows is a rough (and likely imperfect) transcription of the Toronto Sun tape:

RECORDING BEGINS MID-SENTENCE

FORD: "...this fucking flag up ahead of our Canadian flag. I said no ... bullshit. They said they went to Queen's Park, they said 'no way.' Tim Hudak comes out and says 'yeah, I agree with all the gays should have the ...' That's it. I lost my conservative value."

MALE VOICE: "...You actually went to Queen's Park with it?"

FORD: "No they went, the gay organization went to Queen's Park and they're on a standstill. So at Queen's Park, you have to have every member to vote for it."

MALE VOICE: "Of course, of course ... I thought you were the one who ..."

FORD: "No, no, no. And Tim says: 'you know what, yeah that's right, I think it's right there.' He lost my vote. I don't know what the f-.... I can't vote Liberal, because I don't like what Wynne's doing. Not because she's gay, I just don't like the corruption. NDP, I'm just not left wing. I just can't... I mean, I like Tim Hudak, but I can't... I won't put his sign up on my lawn, I won't put any money. I might have to vote Green. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to vote right now. I'm going to vote something."

MALE VOICE: "See, that's incredible."

FORD: "I'm absolutely going to vote. I'll probably going to vote Green because the Green guy didn't say a fucking word... [inaudible.]"

MALE VOICE: "But you're a business guy ... you have a business, a successful business ... how could you vote anything else but P.C.?"

[INAUDIBLE]

FORD: "No ... I don't mind ... As long as they vote, I'd rather have them vote against me than not vote at all. I'd rather lose to Olivia Chow than lose to anyone, man, because, you know what... [INAUDIBLE] get fucked so bad. No, I'm not coming back, once I'm done, I'm done. I'm going to California."

THE RECORDING SEEMS TO PAUSE AND PICK UP WITH A NEW MALE VOICE LEADING THE CONVERSATION

MALE VOICE: "How about Karen Stintz?"

FORD: "I'd like to fucking jam her but she don't want..."

MALE VOICE: [LAUGHING] "'Jam her.'"

FORD: [TO SOMEONE OFF MIKE] "I'm so sorry - I forgot there was a woman in the house."

RECORDING APPEARS TO BE SKIP AHEAD AGAIN

FORD: "CSIS [INAUDIBLE] if you're carrying a piece or you use your envelope. There's no envelope, there's no secret service. I am who I am. There's no secret se- ... I am ...

[INAUDIBLE]

FORD: I'm not like this ... I admit, I'm not the normal mayor. I'm not the normal mayor."

MALE VOICE: "How do you fuck your wife?"

FORD: "I'd fuck your wife [INAUDIBLE] we won't go that far.

FEMALE VOICE: Oh, Nick, stop. That's not nice.

FORD: "That's when we start talking my language!"

[INAUDIBLE]

MALE VOICE: "When was the last time you smoked a joint?"

FORD: "It doesn't matter!"

RECORDING SKIPS AHEAD

FORD: "These guys want me fucking covered. I said, 'nobody's going to cover me, I've got everything under control.'"

FEMALE VOICE: Rob? [SILENCE LIKE FORD IS CONSIDERING AN OFFER]

FORD: "I'm good ... is that your wife?"

FEMALE VOICE: "Yeah!"

RECORDING MAY SKIP AHEAD HERE

[INAUDIBLE]

FEMALE VOICE: "Rob?"

[INAUDIBLE]

FORD: "Berto,[?] get a shot right now or I'll fucking break a..."

MALE VOICE: "The waiter's not here! Reagan [?], do me a favour..."

[INAUDIBLE]

FEMALE VOICE: "Rob? Stop."

[INAUDIBLE]

FORD: "I don't mind talking politics, but I don't want you guys ...

[INAUDIBLE]

FORD: "Shit, fuck, bro. I pound this every day."

MALE VOICE: "It's 9:00 at night. It's 9:00 at night."

[INAUDIBLE]

MALE VOICE: I'll tell you about my job, it'll last for two fucking hours."

RECORDING SEEMS TO SKIP AHEAD

FORD: "Oh, good. If that fucking wop over there... Sorry, I'm not saying I'm a racist, sorry ... If you don't get a shot in two seconds I'll knock your fucking teeth out.

MALE VOICE: "You know what, Robbie?"

FORD: No, no, no, no, no ... I wan't that fucking dago back there, sorry ... no, he hasn't - he drank it."

FEMALE VOICE: "Everyone is allowed their down time."

[INAUDIBLE]

FORD: "That's what I'm saying, it's after 9:00..."

[INAUDIBLE]

MALE VOICE: "What do you want?"

FORD: "I want to give him two shots ... cause those two dagos are drinking together."

MALE VOICE: Did you just call me a 'dago,' really?

[INAUDIBLE]

RECORDING SKIPS AHEAD

[INAUDIBLE]

FORD: I'm fucking sick of politics, dude. Look at my record I'm going to win, we're going to win ... You've got two choices, you've got Olivia Chow ... it's the same vote! it's the same vote! If you vote for Tory, you're voting for Chow, because you're splitting the vote."

MALE VOICE: "You're splitting the vote!"

RECORDING ENDS

Chris Bateman is a staff writer at blogTO. Follow him on Twitter at @chrisbateman.

Image: Chris Bateman/blogTO

Twitter and other social media platforms were set ablaze last night in the wake of news that there was not only another Rob Ford crack tape, but that the mayor was taking a leave of absence in an attempt to address his substance abuse issues (to say nothing of his damaged image). Reaction ranged from exasperation to glee as the city processed the latest entry in the troubled Ford saga, and that's to ignore the fact that within minutes, the story had gone international. So while Jimmy Kimmel (wisely) decided to keep it clean last night, there's plenty of ironic humour to be taken in below. Read it and weep, Toronto.

Today in Toronto there will be much discussion about videos and crack but also lots of things to do. 61 female comedians and comedy troupes will be splitting your sides with frying pans of laughter at Comedy Bar for the first ever SheDot Festival, which runs until May 4. Wavelength Music is presenting experimental/jazz with Chicago Underground Duo (Northern Spy Records) and Not the Wind, Not the Flag at the Garrison. Then, what is Drag Roulette? Watch performers spin the glitter wheel of death to determine if they will lip sync their own prepared songs or someone else's. For more events, click on over to our events section.

• Music: Chicago Underground Duo (The Garrison)
• Comedy: SheDot Festival (Comedy Bar)
• Film: Toronto Jewish Film Festival 2014 (19 Madison Ave.)
• Art: Rockem Sockem the Great Canadian Hockey Art Show (AWOL)
• Music: 5$ HOLLER Hiphop JAM ft. Medley, Babylon Warchild, D-Sisive (Studio Bar)
• Queer: Drag Roulette: Vol 1 (The Steady)
• Art: OCAD University's 99th Annual Graduate Exhibition (OCAD)
• Music: Angel Haze (The Hoxton)

Have an event you'd like to plug? Submit your own listing to the blogTO Toronto events calendar or contact us directly.

Photo: Two Weird Ladies

Toronto Restaurant Openings highlights the latest restaurant openings and closings in Toronto and also gives a preview of what's coming soon. Find us here every Thursday morning.

NOW OPEN

• Dundas and Carlaw, a new cafe and wine bar, is now open at 1173 Dundas St. East.
• Sparrow Restaurant is now open at 2197 Bloor St. West in the spot formerly occupied by Dr. Generosity.
• O Resto Lounge is now open at 7 King St. East, serving up diner standards for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• Smoque N' Bones, a new BBQ joint, opens at 869 Queen St. West on Monday (May 5).

RECENTLY REVIEWED

• The Senator
• Bindia
• Cuscatlan
• Fifth Grill
• Fat Pasha

OPENING SOON

• Temaki Express, a new sushi joint, is slated to open at 269 Danforth Ave.
• Yam Chops, a vegetarian butcher (huh?) and fine foods store, is opening this summer at 705 College St.

CLOSED

• Earth Rosedale (1055 Yonge St.) is set to close, with the last dinner service planned for May 11. [The Grid]
• Bikkuri Japanese Restaurant at 404 College St. is closed and the location is already being gutted.
• Espresso Mi Vida at 392 Pacific Ave. has closed, and will soon become a banh mi sandwich shop.

OTHER NEWS

• Barrio Coreano (642 Bloor St.) now does lunch from Tuesdays to Sundays, starting at noon.

Have you seen restaurants opening or closing in your neighbourhood? Email tips to liora@blogto.com

Photo via O Resto Lounge on Facebook.

Rob Ford has finally agreed to seek help for substance abuse problems, but many fellow politicians aren't mollified and are calling for the mayor's resignation in the wake of yet another scandal. Naturally those leading the charge are Ford's competitors in the mayoral race. "Rob Ford is not just a bad mayor. He is also a disgrace," reads a statement released by the David Soknacki office shortly after the news broke. "Toronto can't wait until October 27th. It is time for Rob Ford to resign, immediately."

John Tory tried his best to sound decisive by chiming in that "for the good of the city, I call on Mayor Ford to resign." Meanwhile councillors Josh Matlow and Jaye Robinson took to Twitter to call for the mayor's resignation.

Kristyn Wong-Tam didn't explicitly call for Rob Ford to step down, but she probably made the most powerful observation of the night. "Ford might rehabilitate his health but 30 days isn't going to cure his racism, misogyny, homophobia & chronic tendencies to break the law," the Toronto councillor wrote on Twitter.

While Karen Stintz derided the remark Ford made about her in the audio tape acquired by the Toronto Sun, she promised to make further comment about the situation later today. A resignation call is almost inevitable. Olivia Chow has, however, been curiously quiet. One suspects that she has her eye on a chunk of the Ford Nation vote that's less dogmatically conservative, and knows she needs to play it as cool as possible.

More resignation talk will surely follow today, though the odds are that Ford himself will stay mum until the peak of the firestorm blows over.

Photo by Jason Cook in the blogTO Flickr pool.

In addition to the existence of recent video of Rob Ford smoking crack and an audio recording of the mayor making racist and misogynist remarks at an Etobicoke pub, last night also included allegations as to what our municipal leader gets up to when he visits his friends at Muzik Nightclub. When Toronto Star Editor Michael Cook tweeted last night that his paper was set to publish a story in which Ford became enraged after an encounter with Justin Bieber the club, one wondered briefly if it was joke. It wasn't. None of this is.

The Star's story outlines eye witness accounts of two visits Ford paid to Muzik, both of which involved extended visits to the washroom followed by questionable behaviour.

"Ford and his new entourage showed up around midnight and were ushered into a private booth. Three party hostesses were told to hand over their phones, according to sources with knowledge of the night. The Star has been told by people familiar with Muzik that this is typical behaviour when Ford arrives...

People familiar with his activities over the next five hours (at least two partygoers, a Canadian actress and a Bieber follower tweeted that Ford and Bieber were there but did not provide details) say that Ford drank to excess and at one point went to a private washroom. He emerged 45 minutes later and was incoherent and rambling."

Also problematic about the Muzik story is the relationship Ford is said to have with its owner, Zlatko Starkovski. The club recently campaigned successfully to have EDM events banned on CNE grounds, which doesn't smell quite right given that Starkovski is a registered lobbyist and City Hall and clearly tight with the mayor.

Normally optics of this sort would pose a big problem for a politician, but a possible conflict of interest is only one issue in a sea of controversy that currently surrounds the Rob Ford.

Toronto Police will investigate the latest video that appears to show Rob Ford using drugs, possibly crack cocaine, the Globe and Mail reports. "I suspect we will, yeah," Det. Sgt. Gary Giroux, the police officer leading Project Brazen 2, the investigation into possible criminal actions by Rob Ford, told the newspaper.

Giroux said that the police will accept evidence from any source, including the media, and that a new video would fall under the umbrella of Project Brazen 2.

The paper, which paid $10,000 for stills it published last night, says the videos were filmed by a drug dealer on Saturday night in the basement of Rob Ford's sister, Kathy. It's not been made clear exactly what Ford was doing in the videos, though the Globe says the drug was described as crack cocaine.

The plot thickens.

Chris Bateman is a staff writer at blogTO. Follow him on Twitter at @chrisbateman.

Image: Chris Bateman/blogTO.

Mayoral candidate Karen Stintz responded to lewd remarks from Rob Ford at a press conference at city hall this morning. Characterizing the mayor's comments as "misogynistic" and "embarrassing," the former TTC Chair argued "Rob Ford is not Toronto." The veracity of that statement is dubious to be sure, but Stintz drove home her point in deciding not to call for Ford's resignation (as others have done), opting instead to leave the matter in the hands of the voters. "The only people who can remove Rob Ford from his office are the people of Toronto," Stintz said. "I have faith in the people of this city."

Stintz also called Ford out for not apologizing for his already notorious remark that he'd like to "fucking jam her." For his part, Ford said he didn't recall making any of the statements attributed to him, and that the word "jam" was not his terminology. I guess that audio recording is a bit pesky when it comes to such a claim, though. "If Rob Ford was truly sorry, he would have apologized to me last night," Stintz rightfully pointed out. "And I'm not interested in an empty apology--we've heard too many of those. Rob Ford needs to get help."

Photo by BruceK in the blogTO Flickr pool.

Cinco de Mayo, a celebration of Mexican heritage and culture, falls on a Monday this year, meaning that the taco-eating, tequila-drinking festivities will be starting early to take advantage of the weekend. Ole!

RESTAURANTS & BARS TO HAVE ON YOUR RADAR

• The Best Mexican Restaurants in Toronto

Cinco de Mayo long weekend at El Caballito
Celebrations at this King West taqueria start on Thursday, May 1 with a Los Arrangos tasting, and continue throughout the weekend with special margarita and draught beer specials. On Sunday, May 4, starting at noon there will be all-day Mexican brunch. On the big day - Monday, May 5 - celebrate with the Mexican flag-coloured Bandera Taco Plate and more drink specials.

Valdez Four Day Fiesta
The King West bar starts the party early with a patio fiesta and live mariachi music on Friday, May 2 and Saturday, May 3 before Chef Steve 'El Jefe' Gonzalez takes the show on the road to Cold Tea and the Drake (details below).

Cinco de Mayo Party at North of Mexico
The Mexican grill in Scarborough celebrates on Saturday, May 3 with a night full of tequila tastings, food specials and a live mariachi band performing between 6:30pn and 7:30pm.

Cinco de Mayo BBQ at Cold Tea Bar
The Kensington Market bar will host Valdez for the first backyard BBQ of the season starting at 3pm on Sunday, May 4.

Cinco de Mayo Patio Fiesta at Frida Restaurant
The party kicks off at 7pm on Saturday, May 3 with live music, a pinata and - of course - dancing. Call the restaurant to reserve a spot and enjoy $4 food and drink specials featuring tacos, guac and chips, margaritas, sangria, beer and tequila shots.

Quattro de Mayo at The Drake Hotel
On Queen West, this DJ-ed party happens on the Sky Yard from 4pm onward and features $5 tacos (your choices include shrimp ceviche, mojo chicken and tomatillo beef).

Cinco de Mayo pop-up at Drake One Fifty
Drake chef Ted Corrado will collaborate with James Beard Award-winning chef Donnie Masterson (based in San Miguel, Mexico) for a special, one-day-only menu featuring modern versions of classic Mexican dishes like pepper-crusted tuna tostadas, pork carnitas salad, and ancho chili braised beef short ribs. Seats are limited and reservations are recommended.

Guacamole Smackdown at The Drake Hotel
The Cinco de Mayo edition of 86D Monday at The Drake Hotel starts at 8pm, and is free, as always. Steve "El Jefe" Gonzalez of Valdez defends his two-years-running title in a Guacamole Smackdown against Nick Lui (Gwai Lo), La Carnita, Alexandra Feswick (now at The Drake) and Ryerson University.

Cinco de Mayo at Dillon's Distillery
Looking for a little weekend road trip? Head to Beamsville for this fiesta on Sunday, May 4 at 4pm, with food and drink supplied by La Carnita.

Cinco de Mayo at Asada Mexican Grill
This St. Clair eatery will throw a bash - complete with live mariachi music - from 6pm to 8 pm on Monday, May 5. See their Facebook page to enter to win free gift cards.

Cinco de Mayo at Fonda Lola
The Queen West eatery is open for business this Monday, and they'll be breaking pinatas every hour on the hour to celebrate.

Did we miss any? Add your Cinco de Mayo event picks in the comments below!

Thanks to Mucho Burrito for sponsoring this post.